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12/12/2004 -
TheFolin: Smoking will kill you. GregThePaladin: Yes. TheFolin: AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE. GregThePaladin: But it will make you look cool. TheFolin: Fur is murder. And theft! GregThePaladin: As well as gorgeous. TheFolin: I find that drinking alcohol just gives me an artificially interesting personality. GregThePaladin: Yes, but it's that artificially interesting personality that makes people like you. TheFolin: Composting is the best way to get to know our brother, the world. GregThePaladin: It is also the best way to make things smell like garbage. TheFolin: I made a keesh using soy-bacon. ORGANIC soy-bacon! GregThePaladin: You are denying swine their delicious life's purpose! TheFolin: I just leave the recycling out front and this old guy with a pidgeon on his head comes and takes it. GregThePaladin: But he will use it to throw at chimps, who will in response throw their own feces. That makes you a polluter! TheFolin: It's wheatgrass! The after-taste means it's healthy! GregThePaladin: But it's still wheat and grass. TheFolin: Did you know that the average child witnesses 300 murders by the time he gets home from school? GregThePaladin: Did you know he or she causes 150 of them? TheFolin: I read that pretty much everything but the glaciers is poison now. And those are melting. GregThePaladin: Yes, but that poison is delicious. TheFolin: It's my own recipe for Vegan Three-Sprout Salad. There's a lemon in the kitchen if you want dressing. GregThePaladin: I brought my own dressing. It is hard liquor. TheFolin: You like it? It's hemp. ORGANIC hemp! GregThePaladin: I shall fashion a rope out of it, strangle you, and then sell it to hippies for twice of what it's worth. TheFolin: I'm pretty much done now, by the by. GregThePaladin: This has been fun, being the imp to your cherub. GregThePaladin: I enjoy quelling your happiness, and hope to do it again sometime. Note: These do not represent the beliefs of Greg, but they do represent the beleifs of Greg when it is 4:30 AM and he is being an asshole. //Greg::4:28 AM EST\ # | |
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The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell.